Stop Explaining Yourself to people

Do you know what it means to explain yourself to an excessive length? It simply means while you're trying to make yourself clear to people, you say more than necessary. You're really trying to make people understand you, but you're talking too much in the process.

While explaining yourself sometimes, you intend to please people, but a simple "YES" or a "NO" will be sufficient to answer a question instead of you stating the reason why you have to say a yes or a no. Some will understand your reasons clearly, even without an explanation and some won't, even when you explain. So don't explain to people that won't understand you or accept your choice just be yourself and people will understand and love you for who you are, as well as respect your choice.


Most people do this unintentionally, you do it most of the time because you want people to acknowledge your motions, praise your ideas as well as to honor you, but fail to realize that most time while doing this you portray lack of confidence. Always remember, explanations are not meant to be done unless you’ve committed a crime, or have a set of duties you are paid to do. Let's look at reasons why explaining yourself to people is bad.

• YOU LOSE TRUST IN YOURSELF: When you explain things to somebody, and you probably get a low or no feedback like you're looking forward to, you're going to start questioning yourself concerning your decisions, making you feel bad and void. When we over explain thing we go out of trust in our intellect and starts to question our trust.

• FREEDOM: When trying to explain yourself to people, you're simply showing that you don't have your own freedom of taking that decision. Remember, saying that no will not end your relationship with people, so don't relinquish your own freedom because explainers are waiting for permission, or approval, or for people to “get” their choices. So much unhappiness and depression comes from a lifetime of waiting for these meaningless things.

• IRRESPONSIBLE; Your act of giving explanations on your decisions simply shows you're not ready to take responsibilities of your actions. You simply wants to look really a good person but the person you explain to might look you as been irresponsible because people who take responsibilities don't blame others or themselves instead they admit they caused it and they will surely take care of it.

• LOSS OF FOCUS: While trying to convince someone by explaining to him and he is proving stubborn, you tend to lose focus as the  only thing you focus on is basically "How to convince him," thereby drawing your focus away from your actual decision.

• PLEASING WHO?: While explaining, you on your mind thinks you're pleasing someone, but really the one to be pleased is you because at the end, if you get a silly response you probably discovered you've really please no one and the one displeased is you. So why not please yourself and careless about what someone feels about your decisions.

• DORMANCY: When explaining, it simply shows that you're underlying that you are not as good as other people and it makes you feel that everyone else’s thoughts and feelings are more important than your own.        

Now understand that you don’t want to go around not caring about other people’s thoughts and feelings, but if you don’t get the balance right you’ll only end up sabotaging your own self-esteem. We strongly recommend that you read The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F*CK by Mark Manson. Get the audio version for FREE here: http://tidd.ly/248f835b